Diary of lit Zoe RT YAP @ Miri - Oct 18, 2007
20th Oct -Today a nurse brought me to mommy’s room and wanted to breastfeed me. Mommy still couldn't breastfeed me sitting up. Nurse wanted mommy to lie sideway and breastfeed me. However, I have problem finding my source of milk and I started crying and crying. The nurse tried to position me nearer to mommy but they make me feel so uncomfortable. I just don’t like it and I was so hungry. It was a struggle for mommy and myself . Mommy was still bedridden and was not able to position me well. I was not able to find the nipple. So, formula milk again for the 3rd day. Fourth day was the best. Mommy was able to position me and I was able to latch on well. I suckle and suckle.. I love the feeling. I felt so secure and pacifying. I felt asleep with my mouth still latching on to mommy’s breast for 1.5 hours. Mommy breastfed me the whole day. Until late night, while i was suckle on mommy’s right breast for around 2 hrs, I accidently bit mommy’s nipple while I was asleep. I have injured mommy’s nipple until the skin came out. So sorry, mommy!!
My name is Baby Zoe@ Tong Tong . I cannot remember what is my full name as mommy and daddy only mentioned my full name in front of me once or twice (my memory still no good). Mommy always call me Baby and daddy at least call my name Zoe or Tong Tong . So I think my name is Baby Zoe @Tong Tong .
I was born in MMC-Dr. Lee ; weighing 3.2 kg ( 70.4lbs)via ceaserean, on 18 October 2007 . Mommy wanted to deliver me naturally. She wanted me to struggle and find my way out, so that I can be a strong survivor in the future. Despite mommy going swimming, climbing up and down staircase, and bringing me for a stroll at the park.. unfortunately, till then i still never turned my head. I am Breech!!!!Oppss.. i was stuck there, not able to decend further. “HELP!” While waiting and …and …
Finally, I felt a pair of hand lifted me up from mommy’s womb and hey… i have come into this world without much effort. Suddenly, someone just hit my backside and i started to cry…. is this the way you all welcome a newborn? (feeling so angry) * SOB SOB
I saw daddy not long after they hit me and the doctor cut my unbilical cord. A nurse later showed me to mommy and I saw a few drops of tears coming out from mommy’s eyes. Why is mommy crying? Did the doctor hit you too? Before I can say “hi” to mommy, they brought me away and sent me for cleaning up. Daddy followed me all the way to the nursery and they took my measurement, did something to my nose and throat (caused so much discomfort) and wrapped me up in a thick cloth. I felt much better after cleaning up and stopped crying.
Few hours later, a nurse brought me to mommy’s room . This is the first time I came so close to mommy. Since mommy just had the operation, she cannot breastfeed me sitting up. Sigh.. so i had to drink from a container called” Milk Bottle” with formula milk to ease my hunger! First night i was staying with two new friends in the ward, as mommy was not feeling well after the labour and operation!
19th Oct -I saw daddy running in and out from the ward. Seeing lots of unfamiliar faces .. “STRANGER?!!” ; yet they seems like calling me. They were looking and staring at me.. giving me BIG SMILE and i couldn’t see clearly only seeing “sudden movement” and “people talking and .. noises from the ward.” I was scared and i burst out .. (CRYING for help!)
20th Oct -Today a nurse brought me to mommy’s room and wanted to breastfeed me. Mommy still couldn't breastfeed me sitting up. Nurse wanted mommy to lie sideway and breastfeed me. However, I have problem finding my source of milk and I started crying and crying. The nurse tried to position me nearer to mommy but they make me feel so uncomfortable. I just don’t like it and I was so hungry. It was a struggle for mommy and myself . Mommy was still bedridden and was not able to position me well. I was not able to find the nipple. So, formula milk again for the 3rd day. Fourth day was the best. Mommy was able to position me and I was able to latch on well. I suckle and suckle.. I love the feeling. I felt so secure and pacifying. I felt asleep with my mouth still latching on to mommy’s breast for 1.5 hours. Mommy breastfed me the whole day. Until late night, while i was suckle on mommy’s right breast for around 2 hrs, I accidently bit mommy’s nipple while I was asleep. I have injured mommy’s nipple until the skin came out. So sorry, mommy!!
20th Oct 1400 hrs - My first day home!
My first night HoME( at ma3 ma3’s house) … We went back home on the third day. I couldn't remember much what happened during my first month at home. I just know that I drink, sleep, drink and sleep everyday. There is this aunty that mommy employed to take care of me. She speaks very loud and like to sing song for me. But I don’t like her singing. I prefer mommy’s voice. Sometimes when I opened my eyes, I saw many people around me. Heard mommy was telling me, ” say good morning to grandma”, ” see, ma3 ma3 and gong gong come and see you”, ” wah, so many yee yee here..”.. i was so confused. I just want to sleep and drink milk… who are all these fe
llows?
My first night HoME( at ma3 ma3’s house) … We went back home on the third day. I couldn't remember much what happened during my first month at home. I just know that I drink, sleep, drink and sleep everyday. There is this aunty that mommy employed to take care of me. She speaks very loud and like to sing song for me. But I don’t like her singing. I prefer mommy’s voice. Sometimes when I opened my eyes, I saw many people around me. Heard mommy was telling me, ” say good morning to grandma”, ” see, ma3 ma3 and gong gong come and see you”, ” wah, so many yee yee here..”.. i was so confused. I just want to sleep and drink milk… who are all these fe
llows?( Aunty - confinement lady;whom mommy hired to take care of me on the 1st Month. She fed me milk)
During my first month, mommy was having post-natal blue. This was all due to breastfeeding problem. I injured both of mommy’s nipples after the 4th day. No choice, they have to feed me formula milk. Mommy was so upset till she cried. She was so persistant, wanted to breastfeed me and I tried to be very co-operative but my appetite was BIG. I need lots of milk so I cried for milk almost every hour when mommy breastfed me. However, when they fed me formula milk, I was able to sleep longer. Mommy hardly take care of me during the first month. Most of the time I saw the aunty changed me, bathed me, fed me. I know mommy was very upset during the first month because she whispered me all her feelings and she even felt sorry for not able to breastfeed me exclusively. We went to see lactation consultant too but did not work. Mommy had mastitis for the 2nd week. After she recovered from her mastitis, she tried breastfeeding me fully again on one of the Sat. Due to all these obstacles, mommy eventually stopped breastfeeding me exclusively. She only pumped out her breastmilk and fed me in bottle. It was a painful journey when talked about breastfeeding. Mommy still feel very bad for not able to breastfeed me fully. I still can remember once she told me that she wanted the best for me and she believed that baby should drink mother’s milk and not cow’s milk. She even blamed herself for not able to overcome all the obstacles she faced during confinement period. I can understand how mommy’s feel because when i latch on to her breast, both of us feel so close and I can feel her love to me so much. Mommy, don’t worry, even without your breastmilk, i still love you much. I know you have tried your best. Even now, I still miss mommy’s breast and I would cry for it especially when I feel discomfort or insecure. Even though I don’t take in much milk from each suck, I still feel good just latching on to it. I know mommy still feel the same..
( Hi is me! I am two weeks old )
Hello there.. Me at 3rd weeks ! Daddy daddy ..i want huggies! - BB Zoe
